April 14, 2016

Letter Series | A Letter to my Nanay

 "You may be gone from my sight, but you will never be gone from my heart. I may not be able to see your face, but I will always see your sweet smile. I may never hear your voice again, but you will forever echo in my soul." - Anonymous 

Dear Nanay,
         A lot of things has happened, be it good and bad. It's unfortunate that we didn't experience these happenings with you. We miss you so much Nay, I don't know how much more I can elaborate how much we miss you but we really do.
         Throughout the years my cousins and I were growing (and near our teenage years), we barely had any bonding moments with you. But I still remember those times we talk on the phone, you never forget to ask us how we were, have we eaten and what toys we like so you could buy it for us. My dad always tells us the sacrifice you make to babysit other people's grandchildren instead of your own grandchildren, just so you can give us money for our studies.

          Even though there were a million miles between us it didn't hinder you to let us feel how much you cared for us. You made us feel so loved that we forgot to return this love for you. You were so generous in helping others but we never got to ask what we can do to help you. And I feel bad because of that. I feel incomplete that I was unable to make you feel loved and cared by your own grandchild.

          Why did you have to go so early, Nay? Why did you surprise us by leaving us? We didn't even get to say goodbye. Losing you is a huge loss in our family. We miss you every day, hoping you were still here with us.

          I found a poem about grandmas and every word is exactly what I wanted to tell you. Here it is...

I Miss You Grandma

© Michelle Williams 
I think about you all the time,
And every day it hurts to cry.
So much has happened in my life,
I'm not sure how hard to try.

Tears are falling constantly,
My heart hurts everyday.
I think about your beautiful smile,
That I pray I see again someday.

The sweet smell of your perfume,
Has slowly faded away.
But all your helpful teachings,
Are always here to stay.

I can't express how much you taught me,
So much I can't explain.
All the times I can remember,
Never once heard you complain.

So many hearts were broken,
The day God called you home.
It seems as though each one of us,
Were left to survive alone.

I know there was a reason,
That you had to leave.
To keep us in your watchful eyes,
So now in God I really do believe.

         It's been three years since you were unfairly taken away, Nay.. And although you being gone still hurts, I just think that God put you in a better place, a place away from this chaotic world where there is no pain only peace, a place you are safe from any threats and sickness, a place where you no longer suffer. You are already home, Nay. Until we meet again.


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